Saturday 5 November 2016

.That 1 Night.

I remember this one night.

I was sulking and rebelling in my room cause mom and dad made last minute change of mind after agreeing to let me join a camp held by school. I was so pissed. I didnt get out of my room. I didnt eat. I didnt make a sound. I didnt turn on the light. And there was no loud music blasting.

Too silence means theres something wrong. Cause usually I would make a scene.

So that night, mom unlocked my door with a spare key.

I remember her hugging me and I felt tears down my cheek. But I still there still pretending to be asleep. And she was still crying when she said,

"Ibu ayah mntk maaf. Ayah bg pergi tp ibu xbg. Bkn ibu xnk bg dira pergi camp tu. Tp ayah cme ade RM10 je dlm bank. Ayah tgh xde duet nk bg dira mkn kalau dira pergi camp. Ibu mntk maaf sgt kt dira... Ade rezeki nnt ibu bg dira pergi ye nak.. Ibu syg dira..."

And I guess she must have thought I was asleep. She kissed me, walked out slowly and locked the door.

That night, it was like Allah swt was trying to tell me to have mercy on my parents cause not everything I want, I'll get. And not everything that doesnt go my way, needs to have a reason, specially when its my parents.

The next day, I was back to normal.

Later that week, I found out that dad used his savings to pay off a large amount of credit card debts so that he could terminate it for good and before more problem piles up cause he still had few credit cards to settle.

I cant explain how that truth made me felt about the day I rebelled over some stupid camp.

I promised myself that Id never trouble their money again. I never signed up for any camps. And I kept myself isolated from friends so that I dont feel the need to join them hanging out at some malls and have expensive lunch together.

Thank you Allah swt for that 1 night you gave me, that 1 night that taught me that I should always be grateful with whatever I have and whatever that I cant have. :).