.Worn Out.

Sometimes I tend to look the other way when I myself know Im already burnt-out. Its easy when you're so used to pushing yourself little by little until you meet the edge, and you jump. And when I jump, life gets messy with the husband and the kids.

And then Im back to my suicidal state like back in high school.

Its exhausting. 

But I just keep on going for the kids. 

Cause I know if I stop now, no one's gonna pick up from there on.

My kids are always up to help me out but I have trust issues. I have standard issues. I dont even know if its OCD or some other behavioural disorder shit that Im not aware of. But Id prefer I have it done myself.

I need a break. I need a holiday. I need my me day.