.Stay At Subang And Work?.

I've been doing some deep thinking lately.

What if I leave JB with the kids and stay at Subang just so that I could get a job while having my mom to take care of the kids..?

What would you have to say about it Ahmad Shahir Abdullah..?

I think its time I start earning my own money cause it makes me feel stupid and shameful to beg for money from him.

Maybe this will make things equal.

You're always saying its not enough without being thankful to Allah swt first for the rezqi he gave us. When you say its never enough for you. Then it'll never be enough for any of us.

So much to say, but you're not listening anyway.

Its not just money. Its not just attention. Its not just conversations. Go figure. Its hurting me even when I dont say it. Even when I'm smiling.

Its that phase again in relationship. Where strong waves hits the rock and breaks it to pieces. Problem is, once the pieces are swept far and deep into the ocean, you'll never find it. What more piecing it back.

So tell me.

What is it that you want that you think is good for you and your family??

.Anger.

I am tired. I am exhausted. I am .

Sigh. I cant shake these mood swings off of me. :(.

So many bad memories gushing inside my head and that unsatisfied, regretful feeling of not defending myself in the name of "respect" and "manners" really pisses me off!!!

Thats why I have weird status on my facebook wall. Cause I dont know where else to channel it.

I cant throw glass bottles like I use to. I dont even have a glass bottle!

The more these stupid memories are stuck playing in my head, the more inconsiderate I am when I meet these assholes! The more hypocrite I am. The more obvious these insincere smiles will be. It is a good thing for me. But not to my "other half".

So much anger. So much anger since childhood, it makes you feel old at an age you're suppose to be active. I wanna kill.

.NOT ROMANTIC,

We went to a nearby mosque.

Sahey was gonna fulfill his Asar prayer and I was gonna withdraw some money at Bank Islam ATM just next to the mosque entrance.

We parked across the road.

And then the conversation started when I noticed Sahey was about to cross the street without me.

Me: Baba! Tunggu la mama!!

*He didn't say a shit and gave me that one eyebrow lift face*

Me: BABA! Baba ni x prihatin la kt keselamatan bini x(...
Sahey: Nanti mama kne lintas sorang gak balik kete -.-.

*AND THEN HE SMIRKED AT ME!*

Me: Baba ni ngade la -.-.

It got me thinking, mmg betul pn. I wasn't gonna wait for him to finish his prayers to cross the road. Abis nnt budak2 nages.

But still! He could have at least walked me across the street x(!!!
NOT A GENTLEMEN! Haihhh -.-.
Heartbreaking left behind by your hubby..

Tu je aku nk cite. I find that moment of conversation reminding me of zaman college :)..

.iKahwin, Bandar Baru Uda, Johor Bahru.

Best nye.

Yesterday I went to my favorite sewing store and bought some stuff for my bookbinding..

And then the owner offered me to become a member. And I asked what the benefits are. And guess what..

You buy stuff and collect points. RM1 for 1 point. The next time you come to buy something at their store and you don't have enough money, you can use the point as your RM. Or just pay the whole thing with points if its enough in your member account. :D.

Currently I have 63 points! Gonna keep collecting :D!

Best thing about shopping at this place! Its small, but it has everything and the new membership benefit is a big bonus!! Love it!